A little bit about myself, 2012 marks 16 years that the Hubster and I have been trapped, err, happily married and 21 yrs together total. We met at junior college where Hubs swept me off my feet. Nah, I'm just messing with ya, in all actuality we couldn't stand each other, kinda like now... He took a while to warm up to my charm (to know me is to love me. My father assures me this saying is totally true in my case. Ummm, thanks Dad?!) and I resigned myself to turning a blind eye to his hideous fashion sense (Hubsters, not Dad's. Though their both equally challenged). Two words, snakeskin boots. *shudder*. Once the Hubs and I met in the middle, we discovered we shared a rather bizarre sense of humor and since we despaired of anyone else truly getting us, we had no other recourse but to fall in love. I'm sensing Disney's gonna pick up on this someday and make a princess movie outta my life. *g*
We have three (yes, three!!) adorable monsters- side note: We're totally in accord in thinking the youngest one's a demon spawn. *sigh*. They each have been equally gifted with our sense of humor. A typical weekend would find us all chasing each other around the house wrestling and tormenting one another. Literally. We delight in finding what irritates each other and using it randomly on the unsuspecting victim (Someday they may very well find themselves in therapy... Oops!). The monsters range in age of boy-10, girl-6 and demon spawn, ahem, boy-4. They're beautiful, intelligent and annoying as fuck, but their ours and we love 'em.
I grew up a cops daughter, so that explains a lot (and I mean ALOT, just ask Hubs!) of my neuroses, as well as my obsession with 48 hrs mystery. Umm, let's see.... Zombies scare the poop outta me, especially this new breed of the undead on TV. Yikes! When for the love of God, did zombies morph into agile capable individuals with olympic runner abilities?! Don't worry, I have a back up plan, especially if the Hubs gets afflicted (the escape route is completely planned out, no lie!), then it's double tap! Again, cops daughter, hello?!?! Okay, and Tallahassee *might* just be mine and the demon spawns hero.
I despise rude people, would it kill you to NOT leave a car length between you and the car in front of you while stopped at a red light and blocking all traffic with intentions of making a right turn, from said turning lane?! I could go postal while driving, I truly could. Lucky for me the 4 yr old likes to co pilot and keep me in check. Yeah, *lucky*.
Don't even get me started on entitled a-holes that walk around with a boulder on their shoulder, thinking the world owes them because they can't seem to pull their heads outta their asses. I could elaborate, but, I'm thinking you get my drift.
My favorite saying when someone pisses me off, is they deserve a kick to the head. I imagine myself as a super ninja, that can dispense a kick to any offensive individuals head, with stealth like agility. If you piss me off, I day dream about this scenario. In. Detail. However, the sad reality is that this has never been attempted, at least not by me. Who has time to deal with court orders and such...
I work as a Unit Assistant at a local Hospital. Which shouldn't be confused with a CNA. Essentially, we're one and the same, but since I lack a certificate, they get paid a dollar an hr more than me. Even though I've been known to train their asses when hired. Good thing I'm not bitter, huh? In all seriousness, I do love my job. The feeling of helping those in *need* is gratifying. However, there are moments (that comes with everyone's job) where the vibe is not so much gratifying, as it is down right degrading. Yep, I'm livin' the dream peeps. I've got a family that loves me and a job that needs me.
Enough about me, especially when there's so many more interesting things to discuss! Then again, the title of this blog is MY insane life...
For those of you that have read this ridiculous intro in it's entirety, you rock! For those that felt the need to skim, you *might* deserve a kick to the head. I haven't as yet decided... Cheers!