Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Family Language Barrier

I speak Momaniese, it's a very complicated dialect, one that my children have not as yet been able to grasp. Their defense against this sophisticated language barrier, is to either stare through me as if I've never spoken at all, or give me a bewildered lost look, whilst backing slowly away. The Hubster calls it something else entirely, to him it's just referred to as *bitching*.  
The barrier usually occurs when the kids are asked to perform a specific task. Nothing too complicated mind you, like standing on their heads while folding laundry... Their not monkeys for cripes sake ('cripes sake' is a form of cursing my Italian Grandma Aka, "Nonie" would use when upset in any way, shape or form. This was usually directly related to something my sister and I did.... I know, I'm shocked too! I was a veritable angel!! *cough*), but, I digress... The blank stare is normally given when any or all of them are asked to either:
A.) clean their room(s)
B.) put their clothes/toys away
or *gasp*
C.) wash a few dishes (this is generally where my oldest cries. Seriously!! He cries, that's his defense!!).
No, I don't expect the two younger monsters to do the dishes, they just play in the water and soak my floor thinking their *helping* me, until I cut my losses and we agree that dishes and baths ended up as one and the same and we call it a night. Usually, The oldest is still in tears at this point because not only did he have to do the few measly dishes I left him, but, he also had to do them with his younger brother and sister. (Insert evil laugh here). 

To get to this point it takes a LOT of yelling, with a few pleading looks thrown Hubsters way. THIS my friends is the really frustrating part, where Hubs then gives me the token blank stare and states calmly, as if speaking to a lunatic, "If I don't listen to you when you bitch (translation, *yell*), then why would you expect the kids to?". Ugh! The whole famdamily deserves a kick to the head, especially me for insisting they cooperate when I KNOW they won't. Thus creating my own circle of Hell.

So, that my friends, is Momaniese. Complex and cryptic to both kids and Hubsters alike. Do any of you speak my language? I'm looking to start a new colony, one with little to no frustration... Or kids...

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