Okay, so one of the things I *really* wish my Mom would've imparted, words of wisdom wise, was to never, ever, under any circumstances, should you over pluck, nor *shave* your eyebrows.
I'm sure you can figure out where this is going?! Basically, it comes down to this, I'm an idiot. No, I'm not judging myself too harshly, trust me. I remember looking in the mirror during my teens thinking, hmmm, my eyebrows are a bit fuller than I'd like. Yet, it was the late eighties and no one gave a rats ass about grooming eyebrows, so I figured I was fairly safe. Now we've entered the very early nineties, and still no one gave a rats ass about grooming eyebrows, but for some obscure reason, I got it into my head to *fix* them anyway. Here's where things go terribly awry....
I didn't know one was supposed to pluck or wax the offensive hairs and having decided that I needed to resemble Demi Moore to the full extreme, aside from having her pixie cut from Ghost, I was going to shape my eyebrows.
My BFF had come over to hang with me, over the years she'd gotten used to my styling mishaps. So when she walked in and stared at me, it wasn't out of character for her to notice something was slightly "off" in my appearance.
She looked me over rather intently, so perplexed was she at trying to figure out what I'd done. "Why do you look different?", She was really frustrated. Smashing my bangs to my forehead with her hand she eyed them critically, "Did you cut your bangs again?!" she accused.
Side note, since I was very small, I'd aggravate both my Mom and our beautician by cutting my own bangs and by cutting I mean butchering... My BFF knew me so well!
With her hand still smashed to my forehead eyeing the trim line of my bangs, I replied, somewhat in disgust at her criticism, "No!" then calmly, "I shaved my eyebrows.". She was utterly dumbfounded, "you shav-?!?!". She couldn't even finish the sentence so stupefied was she by my casualness, given the hack job I'd done.
To this day, when I recall this conversation, I crack up and almost wet myself from the remembered incredulity on her face, that I could do something so stupid! Not to mention giving her props for willingly being seen in public with me!LOL!!!
Okay, twenty something years later, I don't find my eyebrow mishap as funny. I mean it's a funny story, there's no doubt, but man the regrets I have!
First of all, no one ever tells you that your eyebrows thin as you age, nor that they'll grow back at odd angles, or that they'll never truly be reshaped accurately again. This is why I have to draw or fill mine in every time I leave the house. Also, like a dumb ass, I've been known to ask the Hubster if I look alright before we leave for any given event. What a big mistake that is, because his response is always an unfailing *innocently* inquired, "Sure, but did you intentionally draw your eyebrows on crooked?". Or when we're at Walmart and I say to the Hubs, "Hey, don't let me forget my eyebrow pencil.", he says, "Why not just cut your losses already?" and my favorite, when he has a long gray eyebrow hair and I repeatedly ask him to let me pluck it, he deadpans, "I've seen what you've done to your own brows, there's no way your touching mine!". Kick to the head folks, ninja style.
While I give him points for being humorous (because he really is funny!), he's also intelligent enough to know NOT to make me draw in my angry brows! .\/.
So, this is why my daughter and I will have a LONG ass, *in depth* talk about never waxing, over plucking and above all NO shaving of said eyebrows. Best advice I can give, is have them professionally done, or leave 'em the Hell alone and if you see me coming at you with a razor, run like the wind!!!!
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