Sunday, January 29, 2012

Might as well chase my own tail, it'd be more effective...

Help me out here, does anyone else feel like they go above and beyond for their kids only to be disregarded?? 
I give them the opportunity to make me proud and clean their own rooms, when that doesn't happen, I give in and clean their rooms. Then, occasionally, leave a small spot for them to finish.

Yeah, it never gets done.

They either choose to lie to me " Of course I cleaned my room!" or ignore the request altogether, hoping to fly low under the radar. Bluffing their way through the inquiry, " Did you put everything in it's place? You didn't throw it all the closet/under your bed/rolled up in a blanket, did you?". 

This is where I could implode, they look me straight in the eye and say, "no, I cleaned it all.". Straight. In. The. Eye. They lie, oblivious or just down right in denial that I'm gonna go up there and investigate. They know how I roll, they've lived with me all their lives. They KNOW I'm gonna check *everywhere*, and yet they still do it.

Where the fucks the defect?!?! Is it me, or them??? I'm at a loss! 

I so want to put my trust in them and believe that they respect me enough to WANT to impress/please or make me proud. It's become apparent that they don't give a shit. Perhaps the Hubsters "I don't give a shit box" has morphed into the monster's own special type of "I don't give a shit"? 

Now, I have to be honest, this is somewhat of the only area where we have trouble-aside from sibling bickering, which drives me CRAZY! Their fabulous students, polite, hard working, thoughtful of others... The oldest makes the honor roll, the middle kid has multiple citizenship awards and the lil' D.S. (demon spawn), well.... He hasn't gotten expelled from preschool yet! Hmmmm....Let's just concentrate on the other two for now...

Their good kids, they just refuse to keep their room from looking like a bomb went off and the casualties are forever lost within the disaster zone. 

I know Sam (the 10yr old) is gonna have a gig on Hoarders someday, he cannot let go of anything. EVER! Be it a scrap of paper, candy wrapper or obscure rock. He can't part with it! He packs his pockets full of the shit he finds throughout his day.

Here's a for instance: Sam had a Dr's appointment/yearly check up a few months back. The nurse wanted to weigh him after having checked his height, eyes etc.. He's about to step on the scale when I hold out my hand and say, "hand 'em over pal.". The nurse looks at both myself and Sam strange and says, "he doesn't have to strip or anything.". My hand still out towards Sam, eyeing him with the promise of a slow and painful death if he doesn't hand his "finds" over. I say to the nurse, "there's undoubtedly rocks in his pockets." she shoots me a skeptical look. When all of a sudden Sam sighs, digs in both pockets and says, "Here. I can have 'em back, right?". UGH!! God love her, the stunned nurse looks at me and laughs incredulous, as Sam hands me not one, but THREE of the largest rocks one could possibly carry in ones pocket, plus various odds and ends (twist ties from the grocery store, soda tabs, beers caps, bent paper clips, a broken pen lid. The list goes on..). The rocks?? Easily totaling a weight of 5-6lbs. "I thought you were kidding!!!", the nurse says.

Sadly, no.... That's just how Sam rolls.

Since you now know what his pockets look like, you can only imagine what his ROOM looks like! His isn't even as bad as Audrey's! His is packed tight with stuff, hers is a hurricane of shit everywhere. Truly depressing to walk into. Which is why, I insist they clean or at least attempt to clean. That would be why I *help* them. I keep hoping they'll, eventually, watch and learn. No such luck.

So, tonight I tried something different. I used the age old guilt, telling them how disappointed I am in them and how I give up my weekends so they can have sleep overs, play dates and that I deserve so much more from them than what their willing to give me. Blah, blah, blah. (which, incidentally, is what I think they heard). Yep, I pulled the oldest parent trick in the book. I made them feel ashamed of themselves-at least I think I did?! Last I checked, they were sleeping peacefully... 

They'll retaliate, I know they will, because I used to! Come the morning they'll undoubtedly send me the big tear brimmed puppy eyes and promise to never let their rooms get filthy again. And I'll buy it. Why? Because their giving me puppy eyes, damnit! Who can resist puppy eyes!!!

For buying their ploys in the morning, I'll deserve a kick to the head. Ninja style.

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